耶稣与观音 Jesus & Guan Yin(chinese goddess)

一天，耶稣和观音打赌。观音就说：“如果你输了我就弹你的鸡鸡。”耶稣也就答应了。
没人知道当时他们两人到底赌了什么，只知道耶稣赌输了。
但是，耶稣竟然赖账。还没让观音弹鸡鸡就落跑了。
后来……


现在我们看到的耶稣，都是紧紧夹着双腿避免观音弹到鸡鸡。
而观音到现在依旧维持着准备弹鸡鸡的“手势”。

A day, Jesus and Guan Yin make a bet.Guan Yin say:"I will hit your dick if u lose."The Jesus promised. But nobody knew what exactly the wager that they both betting, but the result is Jesus lose. But, the Jesus unexpectedly depends on the promised and just run away from the penalty. Afterwards the times…… the Jesus we that see now, all is tightly and tightly clip the legs to avoid Guan Yin hitting his dick. But the Guan Yin still maintains to prepare the "signal" of hit the dick to now.

Test Your Eyes

More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush,"! and
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.

Test Your Brain

More Brain Stuff . . From Cambridge Unive rsity .

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Test Your Brain

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

Count every " F " in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!

Dairy Astronomy Pic 2

橢圓星系 NGC 1132

說明: NGC 1132 是一個平滑的星系，但它是如何形成的？NGC 1132 是一個橢圓星系，因此少有塵埃和氣體，最近也很少有新恆星形成。雖然有許多橢圓星系是存在於星系團之中，但位於波江座的 NGC 1132 似乎是一個巨大的孤立星系。為了研究這個擁有數百萬兆顆恆星的星系的過去，天文學家們利用可見光波段的哈伯太空望遠鏡以及X光波段的錢卓拉太空望遠鏡對 NGC 1132 進行觀測。在這張合成的假色影像中，可見光是以白色表示，而X光則是以藍色表示，而它所代表的意義便是異常高溫的氣體。X光波段也能描繪出暗物質的位置。有一個假設認為 NGC 1132 是由一個小星系群進行一系列星系融合之後的產物。NGC 1132 的距離大約是三億光年遠，因此我們現在看到的光是在恐龍時代之前就發出來的。在更遙遠的地方，可以看到許多迷人的背景星系。



Elliptical Galaxy NGC 1132

Explanation: NGC 1132 is a smooth galaxy, but is it to how become?NGC 1132 is an Elliptical galaxy, the friendly body of the therefore rare dust, recently also the few new fixed star become.Although have many Elliptical galaxies is exist in cluster of galaxies, be located a NGC of river's 1132 apparently BE a huge isolated galaxy.For studying this galaxy that owns the millions trillion a fixed star of past, the astronomerses make use of it is thus clear that the space telescope of 哈伯 of the light wave segment and QIAN2 ZHUO2 LA's space telescope of the X light wave segment to NGC 1132 carry on prognosticate.In this false color image that synthesize, it is thus clear that only indicate with the white, and the X light then indicates with the blue, and the meaning that it represent woulds be the air of the excrescent heat.The X light wave segment also can describe the dark material position.There is an assumption think NGC 1132 by an outcome that small galaxies carry on after a series of galaxy blend.NGC 1132 of the distance is about 300,000,000 light years far, so we see only now to send out to come times before the dinosaur.At the more faraway place, can see many charming background galaxies.

Dairy Astronomy Pic 1

薔薇星雲和它長長的花梗

說明: 亦稱為NGC 2237的薔薇星雲 (Rosette Nebula)， 並不是唯一具有花朵外觀的氣體和塵埃雲，但它是在情人節時，最常被推薦做為節慶代表的天文影像。在眾多投稿到每日天文圖編輯部的精彩薔薇星雲影像中，這張影像更是其中最合適的，因為它具有由 輝光氫氣所構成長長花梗。位在麒麟座大分子雲團邊緣的這朵花，離我們約有五千光年遠，實際上是個恆星誕生區，而它美麗對稱的外觀，是由中心年輕熱星的恆星風和輻射所雕塑而成。這群會發出高能輻射的恆星，編錄號是NGC 2244，年齡只有數百萬年，而它們吹出了星雲中心直徑有五十光年的空穴。祝各位讀者情人節快樂。



Rose nebula is long with it to spend stem

Explanation: also be called the NGC 2237 of rambling rose nebula(the Rosette Nebula) is not only air and the dust cloud that has the blossom appearance, but it is at Valentine's Day, BE often recommend most to be used as the festival representative's astronomy image.In numerous fascinating rambling roses nebula image of the astronomies diagram editorial department that submit manuscript till everyday, this image is also among them quite the cheese of, because it has by the 輝 light hydrogen the long long flower stalk of the composing.A this flower in a strong numerator cloud regiment edge, leave us to about have far 5,000 light yearses, actually is a fixed star to bear the area, and its beautiful symmetry appearance, by the center young hot star of the fixed star breeze and radiation carve and become.This flock will send out high can radiate of fixed star, the plait records the number is a NGC 2244, the age onlies have the millions year, and they blew to pay the nebula center diameter contain 50 empty cave of the light years.Wish each reader's Valentine's Day happiness.

靚仔冇罪

時時刻刻﹐
都會有人甘問我。。。

他人﹕你女朋友呢﹖冇穩女朋友咩﹖

我﹕我冇女朋友。

他人﹕冇女朋友﹖冇可能啦﹐你甘靚仔﹐肯定大巴啦。

我﹕吶吶吶﹐呢個就係問題既關所在。因為我靚仔﹐所以就一定會有女朋友﹖呢個講法係唔正確架。

他人﹕哎喲﹐你甘靚仔﹐肯定好多女仔梨想識你架啦﹐穩下咯。

我﹕吶吶吶﹐呢種捻法都係唔正確架﹐點解﹖因為甘只會令到大家認為我甘靚仔就一定會有女朋友﹐結果到頭來冇個女仔敢識我咯﹐佢地驚親我唔起啊。

他人﹕唔會啦﹐你同佢地講清楚咯。

我﹕哎喲﹐點講啊﹖特登走過去同D女仔話﹕”我冇女朋友啊﹐真架“﹖

他人﹕冇傷肝咯﹐慢慢黎咯﹐一定可以穩到既﹐佢地一定會明白既。

我﹕ 唉~有甘易咩﹐真係甘易既話﹐都已經有個女朋友左啦。。。我地呢D靚仔都係人一個﹐有時都好需要有個伴﹐但係又有幾多個人真既會深深去明白﹐去了解我地既心聲叻﹖我都唔想甘靚仔架﹐你地真係以為靚仔好好啊﹖有時我會好恨﹐好恨我父母親﹐點解生到我甘靚仔。。。靚仔冇罪啊。。。你話係唔係﹐係唔係啊。。。

他人﹕。。。係係係(慢慢想閃)

我﹕唔好走啊。。。可憐下我啦。。。比個女朋友我啦~~(拉住佢既手)

最後﹐我的感想﹕

哎。。。人類本性就係群居的動物﹐其實邊個唔想有個伴啦﹐除非受到環境既影響咯。可以既話﹐我都好想有個女朋友
正所謂﹕

別人說我太瘋癲﹐我笑他人看不穿﹔
他人話我太靚仔﹐無奈人人都誤解﹔
人人問我係點解﹐只有心人知點解。

在下文才唔係甘好﹐獻醜獻醜


By EnigMcD

Conversation With Customer 3

African Customer : Do you have mouse?

Me : Yea,here

African Customer : I want light,have
light one.

Me : Optical mouse and laser mouse
have light.

African Customer : Oh,which one better.

Me : Laser mouse.

African Customer : How much is it.

Me : 35

African Customer : Oh,come on,give us
cheaper.

Me : 35

African Customer : You give us
cheaper, then i will bring more fren
come here.

Me : 35

African Customer : Cheaper
cheaper,make it 20,make it 20 then we
will bring more fren come.

Me : 35

African Customer : Cheaper cheaper, if
not we wont buy we find at another
shop.

Me : 35

African Customer : Ok...(leaving)

**After 5 second**

African Customer : (come back)Ok ok
give me.

Me : 35

African Customer : Ok ok

Me : thank you, here the resit, and
have 3 months warranty.

African Customer : oh, 3 months
warranty, thank you thank you( then
leave)

Me : (watch them leaving)


By EnigMcD

Conversation With Customer 2

Malay Customer : Boss! Ada hard disk
socket 478 kah?

Me : (Look at him)

Malay Customer : Hard disk socket 478
punya

Me : (still look at him)

Malay Customer : Oh oh oh,motherboard
motherboard socket 478, ada? (haha)

Me : Ahaha, dalak

Malay Customer : Ok ok, hard disk pulak

Me : ha..(watch him leaving)


By EnigMcD

Conversation WIth Customer 1

India Customer : wardes latest
compuder asseseri game do u have?

Me : Huh? We dint sell game.

India Customer : NO NO NO, i mean
warder latest compuder asseseri game
do you have.

Me : (Look at him with mouth open)

India Customer : warder latest
computer asseseri game do you have in
the market.

Me : Ahaha, sorry, i dont understand

India Customer : Oh...Nvm....(Look
around, then go away)

Me : (watching his back with leaving,
then laugh)


By EnigMcD

Three Kind Peoples Of The Life

Peoples, we are peoples, peoples are always live together,
To Care,
To Love,
To Miss,
To Help,
To Beg,
To Hate,
To Guest,
To Teach,
To Learn,
To Treat,
To Cheat,
and etc...

Because of these, we can be..
Happy,
Touch,
Glad,
Sad,
Angry,
Scare,
and etc...

And in this world, there are many kinds of peoples, they can be ...
Good,
Kind,
Helpful,
Bad,
Naughty,
Terrible,
Shameless,
Careless,
Funny,
and etc...

So, for the peoples who we really need to meet, they are three kinds:

-The peoples who can support or sponsor you,
-The peoples who can lead , guide or teach you,
-The peoples who can trust by you.

-The peoples who can support or sponsor you:
These peoples not only support you the materials or cash, but also always give you loves, cares and other things when you needed.

-The peoples who can lead , guide or teach you:
These peoples could show you the right way from their knowledge, their skills, their experiences.

-The peoples who can trust by you:
These peoples are those always trust by you, of coz that's also mean they also got your trust too, and then only could share the things to each others.

These three kind of peoples are no limit to know, but once you got this three kind of peoples in your family, relations or friends, Then your life will become good for sure.

By EnigMcD

Unknown, Unsure, Undone

Our life always in Unsure, Unknown and Undone.
We dont know what kind of our destination or our fate really are, that's Unknown.
We have no idea what's the result after made a choice, that's Unsure.
We still have many things to be done, that's Undone.

So what's the relations about Unknown, Unsure and Undone? Let's see:

Since before we born, we are Unknown;
that's because we dont exist yet, we are unknown mankind.

But when we exist, we are Unsure;
it is because we are not sure are these feeling or thinking belong to us.

Once we been identified, we are Undone;
that's no doubt that we know that's still a lots things need to be done in the future.

And come back again, there still Unknown, Unsure and Undone.

Eventhou we did planned the future,
but there still many unknown matter waiting for us,
also we unsure those idea that we thought works to solve or dont,
and that's still many things undone that's maybe not the time yet.

Why think too much? If not, then will become Unknown.
Why care too much? If not, then will Unsure what will become.
Why prob still exist? that's because somethin still Undone yet.

Although Unknown, Unsure, Undone, there never stop, never stop in this world.
But,
Because of Unknown, so we always do the best to figure out.
Because of Unsure, so we dare to try and keep testing.
Because of Undone, so we are still alive.

By EnigMcD

I'm Not Belong To This World

I'm not belong to this world,
Because on this world,

Peoples know how to use,
Peoples know how to eat,
Peoples know how to lie,
Peoples know how to care,
Peoples know how to find,
Peoples know how to live,
Peoples know how to love,
Peoples know how to have,
Peoples know how to need,
Peoples know how to sing,
Peoples know how to help,
Peoples know how to hold,
Peoples know how to keep,
Peoples know how to fool,
Peoples know how to look,
Peoples know how to feel,
Peoples know how to draw,
Peoples know how to take,
Peoples know how to make,
Peoples know how to think,
Peoples know how to write,
Peoples know how to create,
Peoples know how to cheat,
Peoples know how to enjoy,
Peoples know how to produce,
Peoples know how to develope,
....etc

There are many things that ordinary peoples can do better but not me.

There are many things that ordinary peoples always do but not me.

There are many things that ordinary peoples have to do but not me.

There are many things that ordinary peoples can happen but not me.

There are many things that ordinary peoples deserve to have but not me.

When i need , they dont have,
When they have , it's not mine,
When it's mine , it's not good,
When it's bad , they dont allow me to have,
When they dont allow , but i know,
When i know , it's not real,
When it's fake , it's not been care,
When i care , it's hard to think,
When i think , it's always not as my wish.

I'm might not belong to this world,
or maybe not this time.

Maybe you will say it's still early to judge, but I'm clear my situation.

Or maybe still have chance, but i know it's not for me.

Even it's for me, but it's not the chance that i need or maybe not right.

Whatever, i just dont know, i dont know how to care myself, how to think about my future, i dont know how to use the world, i dont know how to tell you what i need or how do i feel.

I'm not belong to this world,
because i know i'm not suppose to be.

When i see all the people enjoy their life, when i see all the people to work, to love, to care, to be alive. But i dont and never think i'm part of them.

I'm not belong to this world,
because i found meaningless life for myself.

Whatever i think, whatever i wish,
whoever i miss, whoever i love,
wherever i go, wherever i stay,
however i try, however i care,
whenever i born, whenever i die,
it just a little part of the world.

I'm not belong to this world,
because you never know how my world.

By EnigMcD

I am intelligent or clever or smart?

if you ask me:
am i intelligent?
well, i'm not.

if you ask me:
am i clever?
well, i dont think so.

if you ask me:
am i smart?
well, i guess not.

but what is intelligent?
but what is clever?
but what is smart?

maybe intelligent + clever + smart = IQ

maybe when i get high points on my test,
i can say i'm intelligent.

maybe when i can solve the problem, i
can say i'm clever.

maybe when i succeed to avoid trouble, i
can say i'm smart.

but sometimes i'm poor in my test
but sometimes i cant solve the problems
but sometimes i'm always in trouble

meanwhile,
you cant say i'm stupid ,
you cant say i'm stubborn,
you cant say i'm dumb,

i'm poor in test because i dont wanna
just try on words on the paper , i want
a real action, not just think.

i cant solve the problems because i
wanna try the other ways to solve, i
know they might have other idea, not
just the only way.

i'm always in trouble because i wanna
really know the the feeling, the
situation when you have trouble, i want
know how the others ppl who will have
the trouble like i did , and maybe i
could help the others next time.

maybe,
i'm not that intelligent
i'm not that clever
i'm not that smart

maybe you all can say my IQ is not high

but,
i'm not stupid
neither stubborn
nor dumb too

IT IS BECAUSE MY EQ IS REALLY HIGHER
THAN YOU ALL !!

By EnigMcD

Although I ... But I ...

Although I fear no bored ,
But I might fear lonely.

Although I know i'm lonely,
But I always usual on it.

Although I am usual on it,
But I still need someone sometimes.

Although I someone sometimes,
But I know it's not easy.

Although I know it's not easy,
But I still wish i can have it.

Although I wish i can have it,
But I will lie myself sometimes.

Although I will lie myself,
But I still know who am i.

Although I know who am i,
But I can't control my mind.

Although i cant control my mind,
But I still clear what am i thinking.

Although I still clear what i think,
But I cant forget who you are.

Although I cant forget you,
But I know it's hard for me to have you.

Although I know it's hard for me,
But I will never try to have you.

Although I will never try to have you,
But I still loving you.

Although I am still loving you,
But I know i never have a place in your
heart.

Although I know i never in your heart,
But I am proud that i love you since
1993 til now.

Although I am proud of it,
But I know it's just an useless number
between you and me.

Although I know it just an useless number,
But I never regret to keep it in my mind.

Although I never regrets,
But I still feel pain in my heart.

Although I still feel the pain,
But I never show that i'm sad.

Although I never show out my sad,
But I am always remind it when i'm alone.

Although I am always remind it,
But I know that's nobody know that.

Although I know nobody know that,
But I never care about it.

Although I never care about it,
But I am really feel not well.

Although I am feeling not well,
But I will make myself quiet.

Although I am quiet,
But I really feel lonely sometimes.

Although I know you will never see these
words,
But I still wanna tell you,

I'm still LOVING you.

By EnigMcD

i need to talk

i'm not active, i'm not talkative, but
sometimes i need a good conversation.

i dont have much topic to chat, i cant
simple find a topic to chat, but i
sometimes i need a deep chat.

sometimes you can say i'm stubborn,
sometimes you can say i'm boring,
sometimes you can say i'm stupid,

but i'm stubborn because i still have my
own point to show.

but i'm boring because i'm not good to
show what i wanna say what i want to
mention.

but i'm stupid because we are in
different view and you cant make me
smarter cause u are stupid too.

when i wanna talk, nobody can let me to
talk.

when somebody wanna talk, nobody want to
talk to me.

i need to talk, i want to talk.
when you really can spend time to talk
to me or let me to talk, you will love
to talk to me.

so if you can, if you need or if you
wish, come to me, talk to me, coz i need
to talk

By EnigMcD

Life SO shorT~

Life so short~
what you want, what you wait, what you have, what you lost, what is you,
where you went, where you hide, where your home, where are you,
who you look, who you think, who you care, who you need, who you love, who are you,
when you plan, when you go, when you back, when you take, when you die,
how your feeling, how your life, how your things, how are you,
...............................etc

It doesn't matter where when what who how you are,
just play for more,feel for more, enjoy for more,
don't care too much, don't blame too much,
because when u die, everything gone, none.

By EnigMcD

Live with optimistic?

Care your body,care you health,care wat you eat,care what you do,looks forward,be happy,be active,be attractive=Live with optimistic?

Come on,if i dint do all of this,doesnt mean i'm unoptimistic,you are just love your outside,i done all i want just love inside of me,because i just follow what i want and what i feel good for.

You said you happy and optimistic and positive,you will die
You said i'm unhappy and unoptimistic and negative,i also will die

But that just all depends on individual's viewin or feelin or thinkin.
Dont act like jackass,because it's my life

By EnigMcD